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| Date: From: Subject: | 11/17/2011 11:22:50 AM Home School Legal Defense Association Twelve Tips for Happy and Productive Parenting |
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---------------------------------------------------------------------- HSLDA's Homeschooling Thru the Early Years Newsletter November 2011--Twelve Tips for Happy and Productive Parenting ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ---[ Free e-book from AllAboutReading.com ]--------------------------- The "All About Reading" program begins right when children first become interested in learning to read -- at the preschool and kindergarten age. Click the link below to get "In the Kitchen with the Zigzag Zebra" FREE! http://www.hslda.org/alink.asp?id=308 ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Friend, In this season of Thanksgiving http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=12892, we count our blessings--especially our children, these little treasures on loan from the Lord. In the days of the Pilgrims and the Puritans, the family elders served up sage parenting advice as readily as we serve up the turkey and dressing. If you sometimes wish you had a Titus 2 grandma to share her nuggets of parenting wisdom, you're in for a treat this month! Mary Rice ("Ricie") Somerville, homeschooler/mother of former HSLDA Staff Attorney Scott Somerville and grandma of many, offers a buffet of parenting gems; this month's newsletter is adapted from her Facebook Notes for parents: ------------------------------ Ricie's Twelve Tips for Happy and Productive Parenting: 1. Effective training. While it is sometimes easier to do things for our children than to teach them how to do them, we do our children a loving favor by teaching them to be responsible and self-disciplined, and helping them to be part of the team. Treat a child as if he were well worth the most careful supervision. Avoid the humiliation of getting into an argument with a child. Implement consistent, appropriate consequences or correction. Head off an impasse. Present a solid front with your mate, agreeing in advance that you will not tolerate sass, picky eating, laziness, disobedience, whining, etc. Be reasonable and listen to honest complaints, giving the children a chance to be heard in "court." Use your tongue for teaching and praise. 2. Lots of laughter. Try for a "light" disposition and happy manner. Puns, jokes, silly questions, songs, contests, games, http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=12865 and funny stories--all make for laughter-filled memories. 3. Balance. For preschoolers, http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=12866 include some time with the group, some time alone, some time inside and some outside, some time of work and some of play. With older children, add the time they need with peers (you make that determination based on their maturity and social disposition). 4. New interests at home. Delight together in bulbs coming up, knitting lessons, photography, kittens, "camping trips" on the living room rug, new recipes, parties, painting something, or whatever might interest your family. 5. Good relationships. Use lists instead of nagging. Respect privacy and belongings. Avoid critical remarks in public. Be generous. Don't read personal mail or eavesdrop. Be polite to their friends. Keep relationships in perspective--it's easy to let our relationships with our spouses or children overshadow our relationship with the Lord, but we are first children of God, then spouses, then parents. During those seasons in which our children may need more of our attention, let's still nurture those other relationships, as well. 6. Diligence. Embrace the weary task of "pick it up, put it back, wash your hands, please. . . " ad infinitum. Try to stay cheerful http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=12867 and hopeful. There seems to be no better way to "train up a child in the way he should go." Consider yourself a Child-raiser. Clarify your goals. Let home decor go for a while, if needed. If magazines and other media breed discontent or distract you from your mission of child-raising, limit your time or save them for another season; find people and resources that reinforce your aims. If you have a computer, be sure to keep a timer nearby and use it! 7. Order. http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=12868 There is so much more peace in a home if you can find things and if the clean socks are ready, floors are clean, rooms are somewhat tidy. The old nursery rhyme helped me have a framework to hang all the interruptions: "This is the way we wash our clothes, so early Monday morning." Allot one task to each day of the week, with a real try for rest on Sunday. Sort all clothes during spring break and Thanksgiving break. Or whatever plan works for you! 8. Sanctuary. Home is where children should feel the safety of no put-downs or name calling, no premature teasing or pressure about romance, no unfavorable comparisons with siblings or peers, no "final judgments," no peeking at bodies , no heavy religious "trips," no heavy pressure about grades or sports success. Give your chickens a place to peck in peace! 9. Help. Find help where you can: A good church family, a little old lady who will pray for you, a neighborhood play-group, a friend who will hire your teen while you hire hers, a good Scout troop, a live-in single person who will exchange helps for benefits, grandparents. Take advantage of a big yard, or a nearby park or library. Swap out with your mate for time alone to pray and think. 10. Manners. Teach young children a signal (hand up, tap on shoulder) when they need to interrupt your talk to another. Teach them to play quietly around your feet when you need to use the telephone, or think, or pray, or rest. Insist that they ask you before inviting friends, opening a new box, turning on appliances. Show them that you are already mentally occupied when reading or writing. Teach them that cultures differ. Try to be the example that they will follow in every sort of social grace. 11. Education. First, do your best to exemplify correct English usage and intellectual curiosity. Then, provide the best schooling you can, but don't rush too soon and burn them out. 12. Cooperation. Work together--for togetherness and productivity, not isolated punishments. The dishpan provides a great outlet for young heartaches, with Mom beside and no one else listening. "See how it shines!" can be a thrill. Set the standard for your children in thorough work, http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=12869 and enjoyment of a job well done. Years ago, my in-laws had lost two fine sons in their twenties. I was struggling with our three little boys. "Dad, why do people want to have children?" "For toys, for work, for pride." "But not you, Dad." "No, daughter. To give them back, whenever they are called, early or late. Scrubbed and taught." ------------------------------ May Mrs. Somerville's words encourage you and bring you joy in the "scrubbing and teaching" of these precious gifts we call "our children." Next month: Homeschooling on a Shoestring: Spotlight on Language Arts Gratefully yours, Vicki Bentley HSLDA Toddlers to Tweens consultant www.hslda.org/earlyyears About the guest author: Mary Rice ("Ricie") Somerville didn't realize homeschooling was legal until after five of her six sons were already grown, but she jumped at the chance to teach her youngest son at home for seven years. She raised her boys "for Heaven, not Harvard," but got both--all six sons love the Lord and have served as pastors or lay pastors, despite (as her son Scott says!) six scholarships to prestigious prep schools, three Ivy League degrees, and one Ph.D.--with another on the way. About her sons: > Ed trains Latin American workers for overseas service in Ticuman, Mexico. > Scott was staff attorney at the Home School Legal Defense Association for 14 years and now helps produce the Tapestry of Grace homeschool curriculum. http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=12870 > Jim is senior pastor of the First Baptist Church of Richmond, Virginia. > Greg is currently a pastor in Gaithersburg, Maryland, but his family will soon be homeschooling in Africa. > After years as lay pastor in a Presbyterian church, Gray co-founded and now helps run Telogical Systems in McLean, Virginia. > After years of music ministry and service as an assistant pastor, Bill is pursuing a doctorate in psychology at The New School in New York City. > Read more notes from Mary Rice ("Ricie") Somerville at Facebook http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=12871." MORE RESOURCES "Let us not be weary in well doing, for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not." Galatians 6:9 (KJV) More parenting helps: HSLDA Toddlers to Tweens "Organization" section (articles, links, samples) http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=10032 HSLDA Toddlers to Tweens "Encouragement" section http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=12872 Resources for single parents or parents homeschooling through illness http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=12872 "Using the Word of God to Lay the Foundation for Family Relations and Child Training" by Katherine Johnson http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=9618 "Deliberate Devotions" by Vicki Bentley http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=12873 "How To Establish Child Training, Discipline, and Family Responsibilities" (Teaching Home e-newsletter No. 45) Includes: "10 Elements of Child Training" and "Seven Ways To Teach Responsibility through Chores" http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=9622 "Modifying Strategies for Each Child" by Amy, guest blogger at Tommy Nelson Mommy blog http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=12875 "Seven Ways to Teach Family Responsibility through Chores" (Teaching Home) http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=10035 "These Things Should Be Done Before School" chart http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=10036 "Start Service Learning" ("Home School Heartbeat" with Billie Jo Youmans) http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=10037 Service Opportunities Chart from Doorposts http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=10039 Holy-Spirit-Led Homeschooling (blog) http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=12876 Habits for a Happy Home (blog) http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=12877 Heart of the Matter Online (blog) http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=12878 Resources by John Rosemond: > Love and Leadership, from Tots to Teens http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=12879 > Parenting by The Book http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=12880 > The Well-Behaved Child http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=12881 > Parenting According to Grandma http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=12882 Parenting is Heart Work by Turansky and Miller http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=12883 Don't Make Me Count to Three! by Ginger Plowman http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=12884 Shepherding a Child's Heart by Ted Tripp http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=12885 The Five Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=12886 Doorposts--Bible-based parenting and character resources, including For Instruction in Righteousness, The Blessings Chart, The If-Then Chart http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=9612 Parenting with Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility by Jim Fay and Foster Cline http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=9613 Standing on the Promises: A Handbook of Biblical Child-Rearing by Doug Wilson http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=9614 ---------------------------------------------------------------------- -> Can you call your attorney at 2 a.m. on Sunday morning? 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