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| Date: From: Subject: | 12/16/2010 9:54:34 AM Home School Legal Defense Association HSLDA's Homeschooling Thru the Early Years Newsletter--December 2010 |
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---------------------------------------------------------------------- HSLDA's Homeschooling Thru the Early Years Newsletter December 2010 -- Raising Kids Who Help at Home Part II ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ---[ FREE Family Holiday Movie Night Package ]------------------------ Get a free mom-reviewed and mom-approved family movie package. We take the work out of finding movies the entire family can enjoy together and help you create fun, meaningful family movie nights in your home. Sign up for your FREE movie package today for only $1.95 s&h. Yours to KEEP. http://www.hslda.org/alink.asp?ID=295 ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Laying a Foundation (Part Two) Dear Friends, Last month, http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=9815 we outlined four basic principles--the foundation upon which the methods or ideas of any home management training program must be built. These include: > Have realistic and age-appropriate expectations. > Establish rules or standards. > Have a working knowledge of family discipline. > Tie strings to their hearts. In November's newsletter, http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=9815 we discussed realistic and age-appropriate expectations. We pick up here with the second principle. Establish Rules or Standards Children can only be reasonably held accountable if we can be confident that they know what we expect. It helped for me to put those expectations in writing to reduce the probability of a misunderstanding. Consequently, we had several charts and lists to help us remember the expectations--partly so they could refer to the lists, and partly so I could remember what I'd told them! Just say "Yes" (well, at least more often!). I seemed to have bought into the "Just Say No" mentality: No, you may not have dessert because you didn't eat your supper. No, you may not play with your friend because you didn't finish your chores. I realized that I could turn those No's into Yes's and turn the responsibility into a positive thing for my kids. Yes, you may have dessert if you finish your healthy food. Yes, you may play that game as soon as you finish your morning jobs. I was not The Bad Guy anymore. After all, I was giving them permission (if it was truly an acceptable option); the responsibility was now in their laps. If they did not get dessert, whose choice had that been? And whose "fault" was it now if they didn't finish their chores and get to play? Aha! The concept of personal responsibility! Have a Working Knowledge of Family Discipline According to Noah Webster's 1828 "American Dictionary," http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=9866 to train is "to develop or mold the character, thoughts, and behavior of; to cause to grow in a desired direction; to undergo and follow a course of instruction," and discipline is "training that molds or corrects the mind or character." On the other hand, punishment is "penalty for an offense." The real world operates primarily on natural or logical consequences, rather than punishment. It is important to avoid disciplining or training in anger or frustration, so that we do not sin even while we are dealing with sin in our children. The key is to always demonstrate love to them rather than harshness. Our goal is not simply repentance, but restoration of the parent-child relationship (a model of God's goal in dealing with us, His children). Again, since this is not an article on child training per se, but a reminder to deal with heart issues and character issues as a foundation for home management training, I will defer to the many resources available on the subject. (See sidebar in this newsletter and the November issue http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=9815 .) Tie Strings to Their hearts Children who have "connections" to their parents' hearts will desire to please them and honor them. These relational attachments can be formed when you: > Do things with your children. > Smile and speak gently with them. > Laugh with them (not at them). > Show interest in what they tell or show you. > Give them choices--opportunities to practice good judgment. > Love them and let them know that they are important, special, and needed. "If you have trouble knowing what helps your children feel loved, ask them." ("Parenting is Heart Work," p. 90, Turansky and Miller) > Pray with them and let them hear you pray for them. > Let your children be part of your life as you apprentice them in what it means to be wise and to show godly attitudes and discernment. Next month: Part 3--Training them in diligence and thoroughness (aka The Really Practical Stuff!). May your family be blessed beyond measure, Vicki Vicki Bentley Early Years coordinator Home School Legal Defense Association www.hslda.org/earlyyears (Parts of this newsletter were excerpted or adapted from The Everyday Family Chore System.) "Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips." Psalm 141:3 (NKJV) SAVE THE DATE: Saturday, March 12, 2011 You are invited to attend the Early Years (Toddlers to Tweens) and Struggling Learners Symposium to be presented at the Patrick Henry College campus. More details coming soon! Additional Resources Doorposts--Bible-based parenting and character resources, including "For Instruction in Righteousness," "The Blessings Chart," "The If-Then Chart" http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=9816 "Parenting is Heart Work" by Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=9817 "Celebrations of Faith" by Randy and Lisa Wilson http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=9818 "Soundbites from Heaven" by Rachael Carman http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=9819 "Parenting from the Heart" by Marilyn Boyer http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=9820 "Bringing Up Kids Without Tearing Them Down" by Kevin Leman http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=9821 "Parenting with Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility" by Jim Fay and Foster Cline http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=9822 "Standing on the Promises: A Handbook of Biblical Child-Rearing" by Doug Wilson http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=9823 "The Five Love Languages of Children" by Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=9824 Also: The Five Love Languages of Teenagers http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=9825 "Don't Make Me Count to Three!" by Ginger Plowman http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=9826 Holding Their Hearts audio workshop by Marilyn Boyer http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=9827 Family Tool Chest series from Heritage Builders--Hands-on, active devotional guide for all ages; family relationship tool http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=9828 Raising Godly Tomatoes--Christian child-rearing information http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=9829 FamilyMan Weekly (e-newsletter for dads, from Todd Wilson) http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=9830 "Using the Word of God to Lay the Foundation for Family Relations and Child Training" by Katherine Johnson http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=9831 "Our 24 Family Ways" by Clay and Sally Clarkson http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=9832 "Children and Chores" by Marc and Cindy Carrier http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=9833 "The Everyday Family Chore System" by Vicki Bentley (includes a life skills guide by ages) http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=9835 Ministry of Motherhood by Sally Clarkson http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=9836 Educating the WholeHearted Child by Clay and Sally Clarkson http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=9834 "How To Establish Child Training, Discipline, and Family Responsibilities" (Teaching Home e-newsletter No. 45) Includes: "10 Elements of Child Training" and "Seven Ways To Teach Responsibility through Chores" http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=9837 "Romancing Your Child's Heart" by Monte Swan http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=9838 Parts of this newsletter are adapted from The Everyday Family Chore System. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- -> Remember the last time you wrote a term paper? Research can be grueling-digging through archives, wading through articles, conducting interviews. But if it's related to homeschooling, you can relax a little. There's a good chance that you'll find what you're looking for in HSLDA's bimonthly Home School Court Report. Providing in-depth, insightful articles on much of what affects the world of homeschoolers, the Court Report is a must-read for the serious homeschooler. This publication is provided free to each HSLDA member. More reasons to join HSLDA... http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=1933 ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ====================================================================== The HSLDA E-lert Service is a service of: Home School Legal Defense Association P.O. 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