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| Date: From: Subject: | 7/10/2008 9:47:54 AM Home School Legal Defense Association HSLDA's Homeschooling Thru High School Newsletter--Friends--God's Gifts to Us |
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#=====---------------------------------------------------------------- HSLDA's Homeschooling Thru High School Newsletter Friends--God's Gifts to Us ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Friends, Summer is a great season to reach out and foster a new friendship or reconnect with a languishing one. When you hear the word "friend," what comes to your mind? Is it Webster's definition, "one attached to another by affection or esteem?" Or is it a proverb such as "a friend loves at all times" or "there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother?" It is not by chance that we address you each month as "dear friends." We delight in calling you friends, as our desire is to be a friend who sticks close by you as you teach high school at home. Homeschooling during high school will provide your children with a variety of opportunities for developing meaningful friendships. If your teen is discontent with being homeschooled because of his misconception of or concerns about friendships, the following suggestions may provide you with ideas to discuss together. WISDOM IN CHOOSING FRIENDS During the high school years you are modeling and teaching your children through example and conversation how to be true friends and how to choose friends wisely. Friends may be chosen for their godly character, shared values, or simply as an opportunity to invest in someone else's life. Also, friends who are different from your teens in terms of personality may stretch them to learn from others who may at first glance be their polar opposites. Another nugget of wisdom to communicate to your teens is that the number of friends is less significant than the quality of the relationship. This is best conveyed by the quote, "Best friends are like diamonds, precious and rare. False friends are like leaves, found everywhere." (unknown) Some of our teens are naturally outgoing, attracting many to them, thus having many friends. Other teens are more quiet and reserved and find cultivating a few friends equally satisfying. Regardless of which category your teen falls into, being content in whatever the circumstance is a quality worth pursuing. It is not uncommon for teens to gather friends around them and then exclude newcomers. Encourage your teens to move out of the comfort zone of their group in order to avoid cliques. Remind them that as the "hand of fellowship" was extended to them, so they, too, will be blessed by extending it to others. SOURCES FOR FINDING FRIENDS The closest and most natural place to seek out friends is right in your own home. Your children have the opportunity to learn how to be a friend to their siblings. These friendships may be challenging in some cases, but will often stand the test of time and become precious, lifelong relationships. Church and homeschool groups are also places for your children to find and cultivate friendships. These groups will provide friends of similar faith and values, whether homeschooled or educated through public or private schools. Being of the same mind lays the foundation on which to build and sustain friendships. Your children will expand their circle of friends when they participate in extracurricular activities outside of the school day. You will be able to direct them to various activities and outside classes that will provide for good influences and opportunities to meet likeminded friends and families. These activities allow your children the opportunity to practice the wisdom of choosing wisely and provide occasions to show Christian love to others with whom they play, learn, or work alongside. Proverbs 27:19 is a good reminder that "a mirror reflects a man's face, but what he is really like is shown by the kind of friends he chooses." However, if your children do not have sources for finding and developing friends, consider seeking out pen pals for them to meet through letters or email. Your church mission program may have families whose teens would enjoy befriending an American teen. This simple act can help these missionary teens to feel more connected to their native culture. Teens of military families who move frequently may enjoy having a friend to "take along" with them to provide familiarity in strange communities and/or countries. If your teen lacks friendships, see these years as opportunities to cement your relationship with your teen. The Lord often uses these times of loneliness to build into your teen character traits such as tenderheartedness, integrity, patience, humility, and understanding that will cause him or her to be a better friend in the future. MANY FACES OF FRIENDS One important benefit of homeschooling is exposure to multi-age groups of people. Homeschooled teens can benefit from expanding their vision of friendships beyond their peer group. For example, is there a single man (for your son) or a single lady (for your daughter) in your church who could be a friend and mentor to your teen? Our own children have benefited from these kinds of relationships. Young singles can be godly role models and can add another voice of wisdom (in addition to yours) in your teen's life. Or, is there a retired neighbor or elderly member in your church who would benefit from your teen's friendship? These relationships are often mutually satisfying--the seniors have much to teach and share with your teen, while your teen provides much needed companionship. At the other end of the spectrum, is there a younger child that your teen can take the time to befriend and mentor? It may be a sibling, a youngster down the street, or the child of a single parent. The possibilities are definitely out there, but we sometimes need to pointedly expand the ideas of friendship. COST OF FRIENDSHIPS Developing and maintaining friendships takes precious time. Help your teen to manage his or her time to allow for opportunities during the week for building friendships. Is there a family you can invite over for a popcorn and game night? What about suggesting that your teen organize a bowling night with several friends? With all the busyness of homeschooling, be sure to plan fun activities for just the family--not expensive jaunts, but sweet times sitting around chatting while sipping root beer floats, taking a hike together, or working on a puzzle. Even a quiet walk, a game of Scrabble, or an impromptu picnic can be occasions to nurture friendships within your family. There is also an emotional dimension in being a friend. Friends may disappoint, friends may move on, or friends may need our help. Remember relationships that endure are ones built on meeting each other's needs, sharing each other's burdens, and simply enjoying the pleasure of each other's company. Encourage your teens to seek out friends for life! Pray over your teen's friendships and ask the Lord to strengthen them. If your teen lacks friends, pray and ask the Lord to bring them. He will be faithful to provide in His time and in your teen's best interests. Remind your teen to rest in God's promise: "I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you." Join us next month when we'll take a tour of the library and discuss teaching research skills. Until then, cultivate and treasure your own friendships by calling a friend to set a coffee date to catch up with one another. We'll do the same. Thankful for you, dear friends, Becky Cooke and Diane Kummer HSLDA High School Coordinators AT A GLANCE New brochure: The Best Kind of Socialization http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=5292 . HSLDA/NHERI Academic Study Please consider participating in one of the largest studies conducted by Brian Ray and HSLDA on homeschool families and their academic ability. http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=5293 PHC Writing Mentor Program Is your student interested in creative writing or perhaps looking for help with writing college application essays? Does your student need one-on-one assistance in improving his writing skills? PHC mentors work with you and your student to develop better writing skills by assisting with school assignments, giving students writing exercises, or by editing papers. PHC mentors work with your student via email, phone, or mail. The fee is $10 per hour. To learn more about the program or to receive an application, visit http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=5294 or email mentorshipcoordinator@phc.edu. New on the Homeschooling Thru High School website: Net Science Academy, http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=5295 Professor in a Box (new accounting course) http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=5296 Generations of Virtue, http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=5297 4-H, http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=5299 Student News Daily, http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=5298 Check out the new look to their website. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- -> Have you ever yelled into the wind, only to hear the sound of your voice blown back at you? It's hard to be heard in the midst of a storm. Trying to influence federal legislation is much like yelling to be heard while standing in a fierce wind. Yet when 80,000 voices join together, they become a powerful force that cannot be drowned out. Join HSLDA to be heard above the tempests that threaten homeschool freedoms. 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