It’s the paradox of parenthood—we want to grow closer to our children, while at the same time gradually releasing them into adulthood. Today on Home School Heartbeat, host Mike Farris and his guest, Scott Somerville, suggest some guidelines for that process.
Mike Farris:
Scott, you and Marcia have launched all six of your kids into adulthood—and I’ve got a few more to go to get to that stage. But how can fathers strengthen their connection with their teens while allowing them increased independence? How do you keep the sense of being a firm anchor while allowing increased independence?
Scott Somerville:
Mike, I learned this secret from Gregg Harris, way back in 1985. In fact, it was the weekend we decided to start homeschooling. Gregg Harris talked about training your children in liberty, and he described very specifically this notion that it was for liberty that Christ came, to set our children free. But our kids aren’t old enough to handle liberty yet. It’s a sacred trust. We have to teach them how to use the liberty God wants them to have. From the time that my oldest child was 4 until, well, he’s 28 today, I’ve been saying to them over and over again, “I want you to succeed. I want you to thrive. I want you to excel. I want you to be more spiritual than I am. I want you to go places I’d be afraid to go. But I’ve got to help you get there. So where do you want to go, and how can I help you get there? How can I make sure you’re ready for the challenges that you’re faced, and equip you in a way that will make you succeed and fulfill the dreams that you have?” When your kids think you are helping them succeed, they are much more prepared to accept your help.
Mike:
Scott, thanks so much. Happy Father’s Day! I’m Mike Farris.
If you’ve appreciated Scott Somerville’s encouragement for fathers this week, we invite you to join us for his presentation, What Wives Wish Their Husbands Knew, on HSLDA’s @home e-vents!
Scott will be presenting this live, interactive webinar Thursday, June 18. Register for this live e-vent or watch Scott’s presentation at our archive. This e-vent is free, but space is limited.
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Paul Tripp uncovers the heart issues affecting parents and their teenagers during the often chaotic adolescent years. With wit, wisdom, humility, and compassion, he shows parents how to seize the countless opportunities to deepen communication, learn, and grow with their teenagers. The teenage years are often viewed by parents as a period to be survived. This book departs from that mentality and describes these tumultuous years as years of boundless possibilities and promise.
Whether you want to stay abreast of homeschooling news and legislative issues, hear about the latest @home e-vent webinar, or get specialized help for teaching your high schooler—or struggling learner—or elementary student, HSLDA’s e-lert service has something valuable for you. Sign up here!
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