Home School Heartbeat Radio Program

Mike Smith:
Ken, you often say that forgiveness is key to all conflict. Let’s say a teen has hurt and disappointed a parent deeply. What does it mean to forgive that teen?

Ken Sande:
You know, forgiveness is where we have the greatest opportunity to imitate God, to forgive others, just as He’s forgiven us. And we have to learn forgiveness isn’t a feeling, it’s really an act of obedience, out of love for God. The way we teach it Mike, is we help people realize, forgiveness in essence is like making four promises that mirror the promises God makes to us.

The promises—the first one is, “I promise I won’t dwell on this or brood on it.” Secondly, “I promise I won’t bring this up and use it against you in the future.” Third, “I promise I won’t tell others about this.” And fourth, “I promise I won’t let this stand between us, or hinder our personal relationship.” Now that’s scary, that level of forgiveness is scary. It’s like a completely fresh start. But you know that’s what God does for us every single day.

And when kid’s feel that…I pull my kids into my lap, I give them a four-promise little rhyme, “Good thought, hurt you not, gossip never, friends forever.” I give them a big hug, and they know they’ve been forgiven, both with words and by my actions.

Mike:
Well, Ken, I know that you’ve been offering biblical principles of healing to many families throughout your ministry. Thanks so much again. Until next time, I’m Mike Smith.