Home School Heartbeat Radio Program

Mike Smith:
Today I’m joined again by the president of Peacemaker Ministries, Ken Sande, to discuss ways to successfully resolve conflict in your home. Ken, is something needed more than a simple “I’m sorry” after a child lies or a spouse uses harsh words? What are some signs of true humble confession?

Ken Sande:
Well, certainly we need to know when and how to make a confession, Mike. You know when kids are little you can force it, just to get them in the habit of shaping their little mouths around those words saying, “I was wrong.” But eventually you’ve got to help them do it sincerely.

One of the things we developed in our Young Peacemaker material was something we call, “The Five A’s of Confession.’ And these are five elements of an effective confession: admitting, apologizing, accepting responsibility, committing to change, and so on. And, boy, those things help so much, and we just walked our children through those each time. One of the most important things we wanted them to learn was how they needed to acknowledge, how they needed to change in the future.

So it’s not just saying, “I’m sorry for what I did a few minutes ago, I’m just going to repeat it endlessly.” But what are you going to do differently? What’s your plan for doing it differently? What are the consequences if you don’t do it differently? Give kids a track to run on; they have a lot more success in breaking out of those old patterns.

Mike:
Well thank you again, Ken! Very good information. And until next time, I’m Mike Smith.