P R E S I D E N T S P A G E
Too Much of a Good Thing
Some of the attorneys here at Home School Legal Defense Association have desks that are consistently immaculate. Papers are few and they are neatly stacked during the day. By evening, their desks are clear.
I am not one of those attorneys.
I am a person who needs to work on self-discipline and order. To some people these qualities come far more naturally. Other attributes come to me more naturally. Some people say I am somewhat creative, for example.
There are certain attributesincluding self-discipline and creativitythat all home schooling parents need to employ. Take a look at the fruits of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, etc.) and the Boy Scout manual (cheerful, loyal, brave) for a list of these character qualities and attributes.
A natural tendency is to reinforce attributes that come naturally to us and ignore the ones in which we are weak. But this can lead to grave difficulty.
Several years ago I represented a home school family in a western state whose teenage son had engaged in serious misbehavior. The authorities were threatening the familys right to home school this son and, potentially, their other children as a result of his actions.
When I went out for the court hearings, my first visit was with the local attorney who was assisting me. He was a Christian home schooling father with several children. We met in his home where I was introduced to his wife and children.
This family displayed much creativity. The mom was a former actress (not Hollywood). The dad wore a flamboyant tie. And their home reflected a wide-open approach to home education.
Then I met the family who was in troubleanother Christian family. Both mom and dad in this family were very disciplined people. Their children were neat and orderly, well-dressed and well-mannered. Perhaps mom and dad were so disciplined that they might have been called a bit rigid.
The interesting thing to me was that both families used an approach to home schooling which emphasized discipline and order.
From my perspective, the first family probably needed that extra emphasis in discipline and order. However, the second family needed to find some ways to introduce more flexibility and creativity into their lives.
The boy who had misbehaved would have benefited, I believe, from a more balanced approach to home schooling and parenting. While he was responsible for his own actions, too much of one attribute appeared to have created some unnecessary difficulties for this young boy.
Consider this analogy from the plant worldafter all Jesus used plant analogies to describe our spiritual life (I am the vine, you are the branches). Plants need a variety of factors to grow properlysunlight, water, oxygen, nitrogen, etc. Too much sunlight without water and the plants die. Too much water without sunlight and the plants diea different cause, but the same result.
In our parenting it is possible to be too disciplined. It is also possible to be too flexible. Too merciful. Too quick to punish. Discipline, flexibility, mercy, and punishment are all essential parts of parenting. But when any of these attributes crowd out another essential attribute, the results are not what we would hope for. I have recently encountered families who have had problems on either end of the discipline vs. flexibility scale. Each could have benefited from a greater emphasis on the characteristic in which they have a natural weakness.
My encouragement to each mom and dad is this: Evaluate your own natural strengths and weaknesses. Are you adding to your life those things that supplement your weaknesses, or are you merely adding things to your life that give a double-dose of your strengths?
Our goal for Christian home education is to transform children into adults who reflect both spiritual and academic well-rounded maturity. Like a well-nourished plant, give your children sun and water and oxygen and nitrogen, not just more and more of the same old ingredient.