A Contrario Sensu On the Other Hand

We are looking for humorous, warm anecdotes and true stories illustrating that homeschooling is the best educational alternative around.

All material printed in the Court Report will be credited, and the contributor will receive a $10 coupon good toward any HSLDA publication of his choice. Submissions may be edited for space. Please be aware that we cannot return photographs.

Mail submissions to:

Attn: Stories, HSLDA
P.O. Box 3000
Purcellville, VA 20134

Or email us (include "Stories" in the subject line) at: ComDept@hslda.org

YOU’VE COME A LONG WAY

One day while my 5-year-old and I were snuggling, he asked me to tell him about when he was a little baby. Jokingly I replied, “You were never a little baby!” (He was 9 lbs., 9 oz. at birth.)

“Yes I was, Mommy,” he insisted. “When I was a goat and you had to look at me through a telescope!”

Confused, I relayed the conversation to my older children. My oldest son, who was taking biology at the time, explained that he had told his younger brother that before he was born he was called a zygote and was so small he would have to be seen through a microscope.

THE TELLTALE SIGNS

I was planning on testing the girls in science when we got home from running errands, so we were reviewing facts as we picked up a few items at Wal-Mart. I was asking questions like, “What are the three types of worms?” and “What is a parasite?”

A store employee overheard us and said, “Someone’s doing school.”

MY KIND OF WORD PROBLEM

Two of my siblings, ages 6 and 2, were sitting at the kitchen table with a math book and Play-Doh, respectively. Adeline was stuck on a math problem, and Mom was searching for an example to help her. “Okay, if I went to the store and bought 10 pieces of candy for me, and 9 pieces of candy for you—” Before Mom could finish, my 2-year-old brother’s head shot up, eyes enormous. “Can I go with you?” he exclaimed.

FAMILY TIES

While reviewing my 8-year-old’s free writing assignment, I came across this sentence: “My brother and sisters are the best things in the universe. Without them I would be miserable.” That sure makes the crazy days when we are always together seem worth the effort. I cannot imagine my children having such close relationships if we were all going in separate directions, being apart for the best eight hours of the day.

MUSIC TO MY SOUL

“Are you crazy? Why would you even consider homeschooling him?” “You are going to ruin that child by keeping him at home.” “He’ll never learn to interact with others if he doesn’t go to a ‘normal’ school.”

These were the words that pummeled me 15 years ago when my husband and I made the decision to homeschool our son, Erik. He was a painfully shy, quiet boy who shrank when he was in a group and said little or nothing to people he didn’t know well. Sending him off to “normal” school appeared on the exterior to be the best choice. But God saw Erik’s heart and he had different ideas. Out of sheer obedience to the Lord we kept him home for school and we trusted and prayed and waited to see how this child’s life would unfold.

Today, I settled myself in my seat at church next to my husband and Erik’s six siblings. Erik, now 20, was there, too—on the stage, in front of a congregation of 300 people, seated comfortably behind a set of drums, sticks poised, ready to play for the first time with the worship team. When those sticks struck the drums, keeping time with the sweet music that resonated through the room, tears of praise streamed down my cheeks. I prayed, Oh Lord, could this be my son? The once timid and frightened little boy has grown to be a courageous and mature young man. Thank you for guiding us through these years and for helping us to heed your voice in homeschooling. You do truly make everything beautiful in your time (Ecclesiastes 3:11).

WEIGHING THE CONSEQUENCES

We strive to have fresh, healthy food choices available in our home, and we’ve spent countless hours discussing the benefits and ill effects of different foods. For the most part, the children seem to understand and agree. They do not often complain, and we occasionally allow them to indulge in some less healthy food.

Recently, we attended a Fourth of July celebration where junk food was abundant. After a couple of hours of playing and eating, my husband met up with our youngest child, Joel. He had his hands full with a plate of tortilla chips smothered in canned cheese. Looking up at his dad, Joel remarked, “Dad, I think I am going to be sick tomorrow . . . but I think it’s worth it!”

EINSTEIN, MOM-STYLE

At a doctor’s appointment one day, my 6-year-old son, Tyler, and I read Zoobooks magazines in the waiting room. Although he isn’t very attentive in school, Tyler listened intently as we read about polar bears. Later I overheard him telling his 6-year-old friend Grace everything he had learned about polar bears. I was amazed he remembered so much. Finally, Tyler said to Grace, “Do you know how I know so much about polar bears?”

“How?” she asked. He crossed his arms ever so smugly across his chest, pointed his thumb back toward me, and said, “I have my very own genius!” I laughed till I cried. Just when you think they aren’t listening. . . .

ONLY HALF THE STORY

During our cross-country car trip, we let our children play handheld games for a set period of time each day. During her turn, my 5-year-old, Priscilla, piped up every few minutes, “I won, Mommy! I won again!” and so on.

Seven-year-old Thomas could only take so much of this. He made eye contact with me in the rearview mirror. “She’s being like Julius Caesar, Mom,” he announced. “She’s only reporting her victories.”

WELL, SINCE YOU’RE ASKING…

While doing math with my 6-year-old son, Andy, I set the hand clock to 5:15. I then asked him to tell me what time it was. He said, “It’s 5 . . .” Noticing he was having trouble figuring out the minutes, I reminded him to count the minutes by fives or by ones.

He was silent for a long while. Then I asked encouragingly, “Do you want to count by ones or fives?” His quick, serious reply was, “By nones.”

THE PROOF IS IN THE PUDDING

Having homeschooled our five children from the beginning, I have grown accustomed to the somewhat annoying “pop quizzes” administered to my children by a well-meaning acquaintance who happens to be a public school teacher. When our paths crossed recently at a restaurant while my family was enjoying dinner, she quizzed my older children on spelling and math. I was surprised when she then turned her attention to my toddler twins, asking if I was teaching them as well. I answered that they had begun their preschool curriculum and were working on the alphabet and counting. At this point, 3-year-old Allie added,

“Mommy says if I take five more bites, I get pudding.” The teacher loudly inquired, “Can you count to five?” “One, two, three, four, five,” said Allie. “Good, and can you tell me what comes after five?” Allie gleefully replied, “Pudding!” The entire restaurant erupted in laughter, and the teacher has not quizzed any of our children since!

MATH-MINDED

Apparently our 5th-grader had been working too long on math. While reviewing her grammar lesson, I asked her what punctuation mark ended a declarative sentence. Without hesitation, she replied, “A decimal point.”