A Contrario Sensu On the Other Hand

We are looking for humorous, warm anecdotes and true stories illustrating that homeschooling is the best educational alternative around.

All material printed in the Court Report will be credited, and the contributor will receive a $10 coupon good toward any HSLDA publication of his choice. Submissions may be edited for space. Please be aware that we cannot return photographs.

Mail submissions to:

Attn: Stories, HSLDA
P.O. Box 3000
Purcellville, VA 20134

Or email us (include "Stories" in the subject line) at: ComDept@hslda.org

NO LONGER AN AMATEUR

While watching the 2006 Olympics, my 10-year-old son asked about the qualifications to compete. After a lengthy discussion about amateur versus professional sports, my son seemed to grasp the difference. The next day, during English, we had another lengthy discussion-this time about nouns versus pronouns. Finally I asked my son if he understood my explanation. “Sure, Mom,” he replied. “A pronoun is just a noun that went professional.”

HOW TO SPEED UP THE CLOCK

My 9-year-old son, Cole, was diligently practicing the piano. When my husband walked into the room, Cole turned to him and said, “Dad, I know time flies when you’re having fun, so I’m trying to have fun.”

AFFLICTED BY BEAUTY

One afternoon while my son was practicing piano, his two younger sisters interrupted their playtime to listen admiringly. Turning to her older sister, my 4-year-old daughter said in her most grown-up way, “I really am oppressed.”

NOTING THE AUDIENCE

My children were excited at the prospect of attending a special children’s concert put on by our local symphony orchestra. After we found our seats in the back of the concert hall, my 6-year-old son stared in disbelief as busload after busload of 4th- and 5th-grade children filed into the auditorium. Puzzled, he finally turned to me and asked, “Where do all these children without families come from?!”

JUST THINKING

The other day, my son, a second-year student at the local community college, stopped one of his former professors to tell her he had been accepted to the four-year college of his choice. She was excited for him and congratulated him. Then she went on to tell him she had been discussing him not long before with another of his teachers: “Isn’t it great having these homeschooled students in your class?” “Yes, they really think.” “And they make you think, too!”

AN EXPLOSIVE ASSIGNMENT

After studying chain reactions and nuclear energy, my children were required to write analogies. My 5th grader, feeling frustrated with the assignment, wrote: “Unless my mom agrees to help me quickly, I will reach critical mass.”

BREADWINNER WANTED

COMMUTER ATOMS

As I discussed the characteristics of solids, liquids, and gases with my parents as part of my science assignment, my dad asked me to describe how gases travel around. Before I could say that the atoms in gases float freely through the air, I was interrupted by my 4-year-old sister, who answered, “In cars!”

PRODUCING GOOD FRUIT

My homeschooled daughter and two of her friends, who attend public school, were playing in our living room and munching on apples. From the kitchen, I could overhear their conversation. My daughter, then 9, was inspired by their snack to observe a fact about apples. “Grace, how do you know so much?” said one of her friends in amazement. The other friend piped up, “It’s because her mom teaches her at home-she knows everything!”

AND THE WALLS CAME TUMBLING DOWN

As my children and I were reading through the Old Testament, we came to the story of Gideon’s army smashing the jars covering their torches and blowing trumpets to defeat Midian. “I know another story about blowing trumpets!” exclaimed my 6-year-old daughter, Lydia. “They blew trumpets and walked around the city and the walls fell down!” Not wanting to miss a teachable moment, I asked, “And what was the name of the city where the walls fell down?” Pondering carefully, Lydia replied, “Berlin, I think.”