Send us your story
We are looking for humorous, warm anecdotes and true stories illustrating that homeschooling is the best educational alternative around.
All material printed in the Court Report will be credited, and the contributor will receive a $10 coupon good toward any HSLDA publication of his choice. Submissions may be edited for space. Please be aware that we cannot return photographs.
Mail submissions to:
Attn: Stories, HSLDA
P.O. Box 3000
Purcellville, VA 20134
Or email us (include "Stories" in the subject line) at: ComDept@hslda.org
A Puzzling Concept
During a breakfast date with my 6-year-old daughter, Nellie, we were working a crossword puzzle with school-related clues.
The difference between a homeschool environment and public school became very obvious as I had to explain to her that “where you write your work” was not “the table”—as she had stated matter-of-factly-but it was actually “desks.”
“Who is your instructor?” the puzzle asked.
“Mommy,” said Nellie.
“Who teaches you when your regular teacher is sick?“
“Daddy!” (I was also the “person in charge of the school.”)
The New Pentateuch
After reviewing the books of the Bible with my older children, I decided to include my 5-year-old son. I taught him the first five books of the Old Testament and asked him to repeat them back to me. His response was correct—until he reached Deuteronomy: “Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Do-Not-Lie-On-Me.”
Sticks, Stones, & 1040s
One afternoon, my 9-year-old daughter, Ella, came running to my wife in dismay. “Mama, Mama, the other kids are being mean to me and calling me names!”
Surprised that our children had resorted to this discouraging behavior, and wondering what names they had learned, my wife inquired, “What names were they calling you?”
At Ella’s reply, we found ourselves stifling smiles—then asked her siblings if they had indeed called her this mean name.
Although the boys howled their denials, Sofija sheepishly admitted, “Yes, I did call her a ‘tax collector.’ ”
So Who Goes First?
My sons are just 7 and 9, but we have begun teaching them principles of gentlemanly behavior. One day when I wanted them to open the door for a woman at the post office, I reminded my 9-year-old, “Women and children first!”
My good intentions missed the mark. Looking at me with a puzzled expression, my son said, “Excuse me, Mom, but aren’t we children?”
Suisun City, CA
Who Do You Say That I Am?
We hired someone to repair our ceiling after a burst pipe damaged it. As the workers arrived, we heard my 6-year-old daughter’s voice ringing out loud and clear. “Mom! Jesus came back!”
Sure enough, one of the workers had long hair and a beard and was wearing white coveralls.
Our Bible lessons had sunk in—but I still had a lot of explaining to do!
—Gregg & Betsy Braun
On My Dignity As A Gentleman
At age 5, our son Caleb was being harassed by a public-schooled visitor to our home. The 10-year-old was taunting our son for his inability to perform upper-level multiplication in his head.
Caleb became neither angry nor discouraged. Instead, he responded in dignified tones, “Gentlemen do not call other people ‘stupid.’ ”
We were preparing for a unit study on amphibians, and had borrowed every library book on frogs we could find. Isaac, my 6-year-old, was busy thumbing through the stack.
I was puzzled when he announced, “Hey, Mom, they even have instructions in here on how to recycle a frog!” Closer inspection revealed a diagram depicting, in circular fashion, the life cycle of the frog—from egg to tadpole to frog to egg again!
Each morning I ask the children to retell for me in detail the Bible story from the day before, believing that to be an excellent learning exercise. One morning, my 6-year-old daughter, Joelle, began narrating the story of Jesus’ ascension into heaven: “Jesus went with his disciples to—was it Pickle Hill?” I suppose that’s comparable to the Mount of Olives!
Lost In Translation
One morning, my 5-year-old sister Claire was showing my mom a Chinese hat she had made at our church program, Livewire.
“Is it from China?” asked my mom.
“No,” replied Claire. “It’s from Livewire!”
—Jack Miller, 10
Western Springs, IL
In A Class Of His Own
Our son is about to go off to college. The other night, we were all watching a TV commercial that depicted a college classroom full of students taking notes, while a professor wrote on the whiteboard. My husband commented, “Well, son, that'll be you before we know it.”
We were picturing our son as a college student, but our sights were set too low.
“Yeah, Dad,” replied my son. “I can’t wait to be up front teaching.‘
The Power Of Association
I was teaching vowel recognition to my 5-year-old daughter. As I pointed to each vowel, she would tell me its name.
Our 2-year-old, Brian, wanted to participate, so I told him to repeat each vowel after me. He agreed, and we began. When we got to the letter U, Brian responded, “Me!”
He did this every time I tried to get him to repeat U!