The Home School Court Report
Vol. XXII
No. 2
Cover
March/April
2006

In This Issue

SPECIALFEATURES
REGULARCOLUMNS
ANDTHEREST

A Contrario Sensu
On the Other Hand
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Send us your story

We are looking for humorous, warm anecdotes and true stories illustrating that homeschooling is the best educational alternative around.

All material printed in the Court Report will be credited, and the contributor will receive a $10 coupon good toward any HSLDA publication of his choice. Submissions may be edited for space. Please be aware that we cannot return photographs.

Mail submissions to:

Attn: Stories, HSLDA
P.O. Box 3000
Purcellville, VA 20134

Or email us (include "Stories" in the subject line) at: ComDept@hslda.org



I Have a Dream

Yani Dodge

Nine-year-old Yani Dodge wrote the following paragraph for a Martin Luther King, Jr. Day assignment. Yani was adopted from China in 1997. Her mother, Elizabeth, writes, "I am extremely grateful to homeschool both our Chinese-born daughters in a country with freedom of religion and freedom to homeschool. I wanted to share Yani's dream with you."

I have a dream that one day in China people could worship God freely. I dream of Christians owning their own church buildings. I see children having fun learning about God in classes. I dream that big buildings can be rented where movies and performances about Jesus can be watched. I have a dream that Bibles could be printed without fear, and everyone who needs a Bible could have one. I dream that as you walk through markets and parks, you can hear people preaching about Jesus. I also dream that you can see groups of people gathered in city parks, singing praise to God. I pray to God that this dream can come true.

—Elizabeth Dodge
Missoula, MT

Too Taxing

My 8-year-old looked over my shoulder as I prepared my 2005 tax return. Sensing my frustration, he scanned the complicated forms on the computer screen.

Then he observed, "Dad, those are like the Iowa Test of Basic Skills for adults!"

—Bob Blank
Bloomington, MN

Looking for Mr. Write

For handwriting and spelling, I had my 1st-grade daughter practice writing her name. Over and over I sent her back to rewrite it, reminding her that our last name is spelled with an ie, not just an i.

Finally she exclaimed in exasperation, "Mommy, my last name will change, you know!"

—Darci Ziegler
Brighton, CO

Would that Result from Cross-Pollination?

While studying plants one day in our homeschool, I pointed out that if a person was in the desert and needed water, he could drill a hole in a cactus and get a drink.

Five-year-old Kenny lit up. "Wow!" he exclaimed, looking outside. "And you can drill a hole in a maple tree and get syrup!"

Just as I was getting that He's got it! feeling, Kenny added, "And you can drill a hole in a walnut tree and get a squirrel!"

—Kim Staggenborg
Vandalia, OH

The Poetry of Pixels

My 9-year old daughter was working on an English assignment that required her to complete a given sentence with a comparison of her own. To a sentence beginning, "The white clouds drifted across the sky like . . ." she added, ". . . the loading (progress) bar on the computer."

—Beth Bergquist
San Marcos, CA

Homeschooling Works—Go Figure!

One March day, I took my four children into the butcher shop to buy some corned beef. The butcher inquired why they weren't in school. I replied that we homeschooled and were on lunch break. He smirked at us and said, "Yeah right, if I homeschooled I'd be on lunch break all day, too."

At this point, my 9-year-old, Zach, noticed a large glass jar filled with Jolly Ranchers on the counter, along with a sign saying that whoever guessed the correct amount of candies would win them all. Zach began studying the jar from every angle—counting the layers of candy horizontally and vertically, then multiplying the result. I offered him paper and pencil, but he said he preferred to do it in his head.

After I had selected and paid for my purchase, Zach stated, "There's 230 candies in there." The butcher replied that he was within 10 of the correct amount—at which one of my twins guessed 237. When this too proved wrong, my toddler guessed 233, and we won!

I think the butcher realized that homeschoolers aren't just out to lunch.

—Siobhain Weston
Grand Rapids, MI

Stick to the Menu, Please

On a particularly hectic school day, our 4-year-old daughter decided to play waitress. After she interrupted our lessons to take my order for the fourth time, I decided to order my favorite: Peace and Quiet.

With a very serious look on her face, my daughter replied, "Mommy, we don't have that today!"

—Jen Gorton
Chardon, OH

Magical Milk

When our 4-year-old was just learning to read, my wife sent her downstairs to bring up a carton of soy milk from our "overflow" refrigerator. A moment later, we heard our daughter's excited footsteps running back upstairs.

Pointing to the front of the carton, she announced breathlessly, "This never said Soy Milk before!"

—Greg Demme
Minot, ND

The Price of Being a Gentleman

As part of 10-year-old Harrison's etiquette training, my husband decided that it was time for the boy to take his mom (me) out on a date. After educating my son on the finer arts of an evening out, my husband gave Harrison a $20 bill and explained how to pay for a meal. Then, in secret, my husband told me what he had done.

On our date, we headed straight for Harrison's favorite pizza place, and after the meal, the bill was brought. But Harrison didn't take out his money. Not wanting to hurt his pride, I said nothing and gave the waitress a credit card under the table. Off we went to another place for dessert. After we ate, Harrison once again produced no money. Bewildered, I again paid for the treats.

During the drive home, Harrison looked over at me with dreamy eyes and said, "Mom, this was so much fun! Dad paid me $20 to take you out on a date, but I think I'll do it for free."

—The Brown Family
Grimesland, NC