The Home School Court Report
No. 1

In This Issue


A Contrario Sensu
On the Other Hand
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Send us your story

We are looking for humorous, warm anecdotes and true stories illustrating that homeschooling is the best educational alternative around.

All material printed in the Court Report will be credited, and the contributor will receive a $10 coupon good toward any HSLDA publication of his choice. Submissions may be edited for space. Please be aware that we cannot return photographs.

Mail submissions to:

Attn: Stories, HSLDA
P.O. Box 3000
Purcellville, VA 20134

Or email us (include "Stories" in the subject line) at:

I Had That Teacher, Too!

All three of our teens have been homeschooled from day one. As our 11th grader was taking a math test, he asked for help. "I can't help you," I replied. "You're taking a test."

"You're a mean teacher," he replied placidly, returning to his work.

His junior-high sister instantly piped up, "You should have seen the teacher I had in 2nd grade!"

— Lynda Shenefield
Ooltewah, TN

Math Ethics

Math problems aren't usually funny, but I had to laugh one day when I found this exchange in my daughter's 3rd-grade math workbook:

Workbook question: "Could you give a friend the larger half of an apple?"

My daughter's answer: "No."

Question: "Why not?"

Answer: "Because it was MY apple!"

— Beth Chenier
Tiverton, RI

Following Directions—Exactly

Seven-year-old Aaron had just finished his spelling worksheets and was ready for a short test. "Okay, close the book," I instructed. "I will say the words and you print them without looking."

You guessed it—he wrote the first word with his eyes tightly shut!

— Liz Anthony
South Milwaukee, WI

Keep On The Sunny Side

While grading my 4th grader's work, I came across this problem:

When you help people who are your friends, you are being a good ______ .

(a) sport, (b) neighbor, (c) egg, (d) minister

My son chose "egg." But I think I'll mark his answer correct because we often tell him he's a "good egg" when he helps someone else!

— Carol Mazarakis
Norfolk, VA

That Reminds Me Of The Time . . .

"Why does Daddy have a story for every occasion?" asked my 6-year-old daughter.

"Well, Honey," I replied, "Daddy has done many things in his life; he has a gift for storytelling; and he has a great memory. Even if he hasn't done exactly what somebody is talking about, he's able to relate something similar to add interest to the conversation."

"Oh!" Grace beamed. "So it's like a compound word, but it's a compound story!"

I swallowed back my amazed chuckle. "What a great description for your daddy—he's a compound storyteller!"

— Cari Cassadyn
Mariposa, CA

Mastering The Media

During a spelling lesson, I asked my 7-year-old son if he could spell movie.

He looked me squarely in the eye and replied, "No, but I can spell DVD!"

— Kim Tracey
Zephyrhills, FL

Miss Interpretation

Hurricane Katrina struck the Gulf Coast just as we were teaching our children two lessons: the importance of praying for others, and how to respectfully address adults as "Mr.," "Mrs.," or "Miss."

When Dad explained that many of the hurricane victims needed prayer because they had been separated from their families and children, our 5-year-old daughter took this to heart. For several days she prayed, "Dear God, please help the people in Louisiana, and please help Miss Issippi find her babies, if she has any."

— Mr. and Mrs. Roy Clayton
Lincoln, CA

Capital Offense

"Mom, how come Maine conquered New Hampshire?" asked my 5-year-old daughter the other day.

Puzzled, I asked her what she meant.

"You know," she replied, "in that song we're learning that goes Augusta, Maine; Concord, New Hampshire; Boston, Massachusetts . . ."

— Jennifer Nevarr
Manassas, VA

The Side Effects Of Charity

One evening, as we were watching a Christian Children's Fund commercial on TV, the narrator explained that donations to the fund would help children attend school.

"No!" shouted my 1st-grade son, Isaac.

Surprised, I asked, "Isaac, don't you want them to attend school?"

Shaking his head, Isaac replied, "Too many kids in the house!

— Judith Getman
Abbyville, KS